#And I ador the idea of dabbling in animation anyway

[radiates-confusion]

Oh my god..... The 'Watercolour Eyes' tiktok audio owns my brain atm (Dear Arkansas Daughter is the name of the full song and it's pretty decent)

So I though, hey, let's have a fun time and attempt to animate a cute little dnd part intro, cause why not.

It won't be that bad, I said. I'm sure I'll get the base sketch and and some of the animatic frames done in an evening, I said. It won't take up too much time, I said.

I AM A DUMBASS. NEVER SAY OTHERWISE.

I have spent the last like.... 4-5 hours trying to get my shitty little storyboard for the basic bitch shapes of the people and scenery (and when I say shitty, it is shitty but it tells me what I want to know) only to realise I have quite probably been trying to line it up with the wrong fucking layer of this section of the fucking song!

I am persevering, because I am an ambitious dumbass, and this audio owns my brain, but like...... 5 hours.... C'mon....

[practically-an-x-man]

If your OCs had to learn any style of dance, what would they choose?

Oooh, good question! I will say that I don't know much about dancing, so I don't know how good these answers will be lol

Rae: Well, Warren already knows how to ballroom dance/waltz because of his rich upbringing, so she'd probably want to get better at that so she can keep up with him (and try some more interesting maneuvers)

Robin: She already has some standard dance training bc she's an opera singer and took a lot of theatre-based classes for her degree, and I don't think she has a particular favorite - she just likes movement, and using music to tell a story.

Jasper: I feel like they'd try a ballet class or two. They can't get too advanced with it since they started as an adult (there's some flexibility and musculature things that usually have to be trained in childhood, if you want to be a really good ballet dancer), but it helps with their balance and body control and makes them better at roller derby. Plus, they love the idea of entering a dance method largely dominated by femininity and softness, and making it their own (okay, okay, might be pulling from Gwen Stacy a little on that bit, with the punks-in-ballet thing, but I just love her so much)

Madison: My first thought is that she's not a dancer, but I don't think that's quite right. I think she'd actually adore swing dancing, especially once she gets comfortable with it and can try some really fun maneuvers.

Kestrel: With all their travels, I think they'd take any chance their given to learn cultural dances for the places they visit. It's fun, it's a great way to get connected with the local culture, and dance is essentially universal. I think they'd enjoy Native American hoop dancing or African San dancing the most though, especially with all the ways they can be used to represent animals and nature.

Quinn: Prior to her injury, she'd probably dabble in breakdancing (learning from a few other friends/buskers in the crew) just for the hell of it. After her injury, she doesn't have enough mobility to dance. Usually that doesn't bother her too much, since she wasn't much of a dancer anyway, but sometimes they get a little sad that they can't move freely like they used to.

Ophelia: Honestly, she's not much of a dancer. If she had to learn one, she'd probably pick whatever was easiest to pick up, or that she could find a class for most easily - ballroom dancing or contemporary, one of the common ones where she could just pop down to the community center once a week and say she's tried it.

Katherine: She'd enjoy Southern classics like square dancing or line dancing - they were what she grew up around, and she always wanted to learn.

[emilou-keen-gear]

More Fandom Meme

·         G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

A long time back, I was into Dragonball Z. This was when it was first coming out, and they had different voice actors in the first half of the show than what they have now (yeah, I’m that old.) I was first turning into a nerd and I made my first OCs and wrote my first fanfiction. I made a character who was “made for” Gohan, and my story took place after the Freeza Saga and several years into the future when Gohan was a teenager. I didn’t know anything about Videl or the other sagas (I think the Android saga was coming out in Japan at the time??)

Anyway, that was my first OTP

·         H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I like a little of everything. Mostly, I’m into Western animation, but I’m still picky about what I watch. For Western animation, my biggest fandom is (of course) Ducktales 2017 and Darkwing Duck. TV shows, I like watching cop dramas and shows like Merlin and Sherlock, but I don’t geek out that much about them. Movies: I like the Marvel movies, but I really into the animated movies that come out each year. Sometimes I dabble with a fanfic here and there if I like the movie. Books: I’m a big bibliophile, and I love reading, but mostly I read for fun, not to get into a fandom. The one that I sometimes poke my head into the fandom is Harry Potter, but mostly I keep to myself. I loved anime back when I was a teenager and in college, but that’s kind of fizzled out for me. I’ll go back to old favorites (Princess Tutu’s my favorite) to watch, and sometimes I’ll do some fanart, but anime has gotten a little out of hand in my opinion. I prefer reading Manga. I’m super big into Batman, both the Animated series and the comics.

·         I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

Nope. I haven’t been on tumblr that long, and I’m only here for Ducktales fanart.

·         J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

Again, I haven’t been on tumblr for that long, so I can’t say that I have.

·         K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

@poppin-jay​ has been totally amazing. I’m really bad at making friends, and she’s made me feel so welcome. It’s nice to have someone to talk Ducktales and OCs to.

·         L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

I don’t like Gandra Dee from Ducktales 2017. But there is so darn amazing art out there. I have started liking her a lot more because of some of the art.

·         M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

As I’ve said before, I don’t like Drakepad/Darkpad shipping. Not my cup of tea. But there is some adorable art out there of the shipping. You Drakepad shippers have some skills!

·         N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

1. I’d like to see more OC/character shipping. I think we’ve gotten into the idea that every OC (specifically if they’re shipped with a cannon character) is full of cringe. My first OC was terrible, but there’s always room for improvement. If I took my DBZ OC and rewrote her now, she would be epic. Yeah, people are going to fall into some of the “Mary Sue” stereotypes, but that’s how we learn. I love seeing OCs and OC art.

2. More PG and PG-13 fanfiction. I don’t read Mature and Explicit fanfiction. It’s not because of my age. I’m in my thirties. It’s just that I don’t like reading that kind of stuff, but it seems as if everyone is writing it because that’s how you get readers. I even googled “How to get people to read my fanfiction.” One of the top ways suggested is to make the story with mature content. While “Twisted Strings of Fate” isn’t the most popular and most read fanfic out there, I think I can say that there are readers who do look for stories that aren’t just for Mature readers.

3. More people who are willing to be friendly. Actually, I’ve made more friends in the Ducktales fandom than I have in any other, but I’ve also felt the most threatened in the Ducktales fandom based on my choice of shipping and even on my sexuality. There’s a lot of talk about homophobes out there, but I never expected to see people saying that if you’re heterosexual to stay away from them. I think people are quick to spread their anger but slow to reach out in friendship. I hope that everyone knows that this tumblr page is a friendly place.

[natsunoomoi]

So a BL Chinese novel?

So I started watching and reading Scumbag System or Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System in the last day because I saw a really adorable nendo of Shen Qingqiu and was like, “OMG What is this cute little thing and why is it freaking out at a screen?” Found the first ep of the series on Youtube on the WeTV channel and got hooked. Googled for the original novel, and I’m I think like 15 chapters in. It’s SO GOOD though.

I was really surprised and intrigued about the premise because I got into reading some Chinese novels lately, but of the romance fare, but the intro and like the frustration Shen Yuan has over some of the writing even though I’m not reading a stallion novel (cuz that doesn’t appeal to me) I just related to because I feel that frustration for some of the developments that happen in the romance novels I was reading.

Like a bit of a tangent, but Thorny First Marriage turned into a shit show the last few chapters where the main character suddenly got really stupid and like threw what she had out the window and basically lost everything, and then it hasn’t had new chapters added to it in weeks even though it still says “To be continued”. It’s just so frustratingly dissatisfying right now and I don’t know how they’ll write themselves out of the hole they made and I’m not really that interested. The Bossy Ghost Husband one got better-ish, but the main character is still stupid and I like predict plot points several chapters before she even thinks of it and it’s painfully slow on the MC realizing it.

But that tangent just to say, I understand the MC of SVSSS’s frustration. I think his is worse because that “original work” he talks about sounds like a huge frickin’ shit show, but the story of him trying to fix it is so good because I can relate to being frustrated with character’s shitty decisions that don’t make sense.

Also, Shen Qingqiu is kind of cute.... Like I dunno, why but I have an odd weakness for his look in general for some reason that probably dates back to old movies I used to watch with my Dad when I was growing up. Kind of saddening that the premise of him is that he originally was a huge asshole with a pretty outside but awful, pretentious inside.

But then this is also apparently a BL novel? Like I’m early into the novel and it reads like a totally normal story, which is great for me since I’m ace and I kind of don’t really like so much how Japanese BL manga tends to shove the sexual stuff down your throat almost immediately a lot of the time. Every time I’ve ever seen it, but I don’t dabble in BL often and I have a small sample set so I’m giving the benefit of the doubt that there’s probably a few out there that have a slow burn too and actually develop the relationship, which is so nice.

Like I’m not normally into BL at all, just because of the overt sexualization kind of makes it more similar to trash smut than a good story, and I’d rather read a good story that happens to also be BL. It seems few and far between. Recently I took a bit of an interest in Titan’s Bride because I thought the premise was interesting, but even checking that out the MC in the manga gets pantsed in the first chapter just to highlight how he has a huge dick and he jacks off when he gets transported into the other world. Like apparently the two characters gradually get to know each other and all, but they like jumped into the sex part like immediately. The story is still better than most fare to an extent, but I mean, do you need to jump into it that quickly? Not to mention in a way that’s like not exactly consensual?

So given that, I’m finding SVSSS to just be way more delightful and the starting premise where the MC has to try to change the hero’s opinion of him so that he doesn’t die being the impetus for their relationship developing is just so fascinating and also sweet. You can like literally see the little things that Binghe notices as their closeness starts to develop, and it doesn’t really seem like there’s going to be anything that starts out non-consensual.

I have a lot of questions though. It’s probably because I’m Asian but grew up in the West. Like in some ways it’s really nice that Asian cultures are more open and accepting of representation of same sex relationships in media and literature, but for Japanese BL it is a bit disturbing that it’s so hyper sexualized cuz homosexuality is just about love. Like there’s a hint of deviance in it and that’s saddening. I know Japanese BL has a specific social purpose too for it being a representation of equal relationship fantasy rather than being faithful literature representing same sex relationships, but it comes on SO STRONG that I’ve always been really concerned about the messaging and kind of uncomfortable with things like Yaoi con and stuff just because it’s like the glorification of something that objectifies same sex relationships more as a commodity than a representation of love and a caring relationship between two people who happen to have the same sex. Still, I remember in my studies that homophobia is more of a Western idea since Confucianism back in the day technically glorified homosexual relationships in some ways and the modern condemnation is more of an import idea reflecting Western Judeo-Christian ideals. In that respect the contrast on a society level and how we got to the situation we have now in modern times is interesting and baffling when you see prominent politicians in like Japan condemn it. But I mean, also from living in Japan it’s kind of interesting in that before arriving I was told many things about how Japan is more sexist, but like in Asian countries in general including Japan girls can cut their hair into cute bobs and no men in their alives are entitled enough to publicly object to it because they are less sexualized with shorter hair. That happening back home was appalling to me because why are you even looking at young girls like that in the first place? It’s nice to be in an area where no one gives a shit about that.

I dunno if it just happened to be coincidence in some of the media I saw, but I saw some people even visit a restaurant in China owned by a couple and like, it seems even a bit more normalized? I usually don’t keep up on modern day Chinese social issues so I don’t really know how it’s thought of there, but it kind of seems like it’s a bit more normalized, which is nice.

But then that also leaves me to the questions I have about SVSSS. Like I love the development of the relationship, but also I’m a bit confused about what the bigger meaning would be of the hero in the supposed original story having a harem solely of women, but with a few story changes starts a relationship with Shen Qingqiu? Like just in principle. I suppose he could be bi, but then wouldn’t his original self have had some men in his harem? I mean, the story is being rewritten so I suppose you could argue that there’s room for him discovering his fluidity or even turning out pan or something, but it seems just a bit different from the idea that you are born with a sexuality. We don’t really know what the original contents of the “original work” were though exactly. We just get snippets than Shen Yuan tells us about and of course it’s a ridiculous stallion novel as well, but I mean, I kind of feel like the ultimate kind would be that he’s such a stallion that even men admire him too? Instead it seems like the lousy original work was too hyper masculine so I suppose you could argue the original shit author was just not good enough to consider even the complexity of sexuality in his characters and that’s why he focused on the other males only being jealous, but still it kind of strikes me as a little uncomfortable to imply that anyone could “change” in the right circumstances instead of just being born that way.

That’s pretty much my only real concern as I embark on reading this story though. Everything else is much improved from my other experiences with BL. I guess the student teacher thing is also a little worrying because of age difference and power dynamics, but also the situation isn’t exactly that either cuz of the reality of the series being someone rewriting the story, but yeah.

The animated series sometimes has a bit of uncanny valley with some of the movements and the fact that the characters are more like 3D versions of a Chinese painting rather than more photorealistic, but it’s beautiful. The parts that it did in 2D animation though were a bit more comfortable with the no uncanny valley triggering.

Anyway, this is basically what’s been on my mind regarding this in the last day. It’s literally been a day since I started this journey and these are my first impressions.

[dcrrows-blog]

teehee it is i,, cee, with another new gal hazel !! as always, everythin to know about her is under the cut x

CIS FEMALE — ever hear people say HAZEL DARROW looks a lot like FREYA MAVOR? I think SHE is about 23, so it doesn’t really work. The LITERATURE major is a SENIOR that is from ABERDEEN, SCOTLAND. They can be SHREWD, but they can also be COWARDLY. I think HAZEL might be a TIER 2 SHEPHERD. They are living in KIERAN. 

AESTHETICS

billowy white linen shirt sleeves, flowers pressed between the pages of antique books, heat rings from a mug on an old oak desk, crumpled up sheets of paper thrown down at the feet, magnolia perfume, novelty candles lined across a mantle, the grimace of a subject in a renaissance painting, lips bitten rosy pink.

+ here is hazel’s pinterest board

BACKGROUND

the second-youngest child out of four, hazel was home-schooled for the first half of her life. with two working parents in agriculture, it became harder and harder to make the time for schooling, especially as it got more obvious she was gifted.

her siblings were content with settling into inheritance of the farm. hazel had never warmed to the idea and instead asked questions about the many books she’d pick up on a weekly trip to a local library, about why stars blinked - things her parents just weren’t equipped to do. 

in her first year of secondary school she attended a public school, with long commutes and seemingly little difference made. it was by luck she received a scholarship for a private girls school, but it meant she had to move away. hazel nearly gave up from homesickness several times, only finding it easier towards the end of her schooling.

while her parents wanted hazel to go into science, her imagination ran far too much to be contained to a clinical space and equations. she had the aptitude for almost everything, but a hankering desire to simply write had never left her all through childhood. she chose to go into literature instead

the only reason she wound up in livingstone, rather than a prestigious university at home, was she spun a globe and wherever her finger landed, she went ( cliche i know ). she’s on a partial scholarship here.

hazel wasn’t particularly close to either kieran or michael, having floated between social groups every now and then when she wasn’t holed up in her dorm writing. she’s always kept a close eye on things, preferring to be a quiet bystander that listens in.

the only reason she got involved with the watershed app was for writing inspiration. having been mostly detached from the people affected, hazel has used the app for bits and pieces she can weave into her pieces.

PERSONALITY

manipulative pisces bitch

comes off as cowardly and tearful to try and get people to do things for her, is an experienced performer of crocodile tears. loves to pull strings

acutely aware of what she’s getting up to with the watershed app is wrong but keeps an eye on it anyway, almost to the point that it’s become obsessive

probably wears an aluminium foil hat in the privacy of her own dorm. biggest conspiracy theorist

LOVES aliens and genuinely thinks she’s had an experience as an abductee in the summer after her freshman year of university. will tell you about it if she’s feeling particularly brave

raised in a working class family, hates gentrificiation. can and will stick it to The Man

literature major because she’s got a ridiculous imagination and is currently writing a few short pieces, dabbles in visual art in her spare time

the way she dresses is far more collected than hazel herself is. very dreamlike, wears lots of flowy linen, slip dresses and vintage wool coats ( thinks she’s a real life camilla macaulay, honestly )

very sly and is good at keeping secrets, telling white lies and not letting people catch on to what she’s doing

in terms of the watershed, she’s usually surfing the omegle-type chat to talk ideas and planning. on the app, she always wears a cheap halloween mask, warps her voice and makes her dorm impossibly dark to see in. wants to remain as anonymous as she can. her user icon is also an anime girl :-)

scholarship student, but still does odd jobs when she isn’t studying to make up for watershed membership subscriptions

never sleeps. ever

a real slut for talking heads

is always reading, and adores trashy $2 romance novels 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

a ufo hunting pal

more generally, a few people she’ll share all her conspiracy theories with ( whether they want her to or not )

current/former crushes cos she’s a hopeless romantic

a muse !! for her sketching hobby

[flourchildwrites]

You reblogged the thing that said it's okay to ask random questions so I thought that I could toss you some! :) Do you have any pets? What are they like? What's your favorite thing to do? Have a great day!

THANK YOU!  I haven’t got an ask in a while, and this was such a nice surprise. 

Do I have any pets and what are they like?  Yes!  I have one sassy cat, and his name is Sebastian Norbert.  He turned 11 this May!  Isn’t he adorable?  Let us all take a moment to bask in his glory.

So, Sebastian is, quite literally, a rescue.  I stumbled across him as a kitten while walking my friend’s dog through our college apartment complex.  He was hungry, dirty and covered from head to toe in fleas.  Suffice it to say, it was impossible to return him to his mother, and I brought him to my local animal shelter.  Thankfully, the shelter was very honest with me about what would happen if I left Seb with them, and thus, I became the proud guardian of a semi-feral kitten.

Seb had a rough start, but as my vet put it (after recently twisting my arm to needlessly perform blood work), now he’s “healthier than me.”  Seb is aloof, and while he’s calmed down a lot, there’s always going to be a part of him that’s a little feral.  He spends most of his days lying in the sun, but occasionally he seeks out affection and/or play.  His human interaction quota is very, very small, but if there’s one person he loves, it’s my husband.  Not me, mind you, the person who bottle fed him and picked the fleas from his body when he was too young for medication.

These days, he enjoys long afternoon naps on the upstairs window sills and snuggling at the end of my bed in the evening.  His interests include grooming, sprinting around the house as if he’s possessed at about 3 a.m. and just generally being a 12/10 cat.  My fondest memory of him was when my baby crawled for the first time.  He looked at me with alarm as if to say, “You didn’t tell me it was going to start MOVING on its own!  Is it supposed to do that?!?!”

What’s your favorite thing to do?  I like being creative.  I write; that’s obvious - though I haven’t had a lot of time to do that lately.  (Thankfully, my time crunch is a temporary state of affairs.)  I also bake, (very occasionally) craft and dabble in photography.  I’m happy to share some of my recent projects.

And yes, none of these are perfect, but I enjoyed making them - especially the decorated sugar cookies.  It was my first time working with royal icing to that extent.  The cork M&R and the lantern centerpiece are for a wedding I’m standing in during the month of June.  The chocolate chip brown butter cookies and the photograph were spur of the moment creations, just for fun.

So this might be tl;dr, but lately I’m been thinking about what it means to be creative.  Recently, someone told me that the theme of a party I was planning was terrible.  I was disheartened and offended by the way this individual had chosen to communicate their disapproval.  I’d put a lot of time and effort into the idea but deep down I’d known it might not work out.  Anyway, I ended up taking a good look at my own creative process.

Not all my projects end well.  In fact, I’m willing to say all my first attempts have a lot of room for improvement.  But finishing something and taking the time to reflect on what I like about it as well as what I would do differently is the most important part of my creative process.  I genuinely like all my projects, even the terrible ones.

The four-tier ombre cake that turned into a pink frosting disaster?  It tasted delicious.  My husband fucking loved that cake, even if it looked like a collapsed pink and white blob.  The 7 egg cheesecake that exploded in the oven?  A hilarious story which proves that my grandmother-in-law will never give anyone her recipes, even when she swears she’s being honest.  In particular, I considered my writing.  My early fics were my first attempts at creative writing, and they were horrendous.  However, if I hadn’t gotten into fanfiction, I don’t think I would have gone on to study the things I did.  Writing opened doors for me because I chose to take a terrible idea and nurture its silver lining.

We live in a social media saturated culture that glorifies appearances.  Too often, I hear people say that they’re trying to “live their best life,” and I wonder what that really means.  I’m all about a person reaching for their dreams, but I can’t help but wonder which is more important:  Your best life or the one with highs lows and everything in between?  The destination or the journey?

Some would argue (with great reasons) it’s the destination.  But as for me, it’s always the journey.  Like looking at an influencer’s Instagram account or skipping to the end of a book, the finished product feels a little flat and has less impact without context.  So, taking all these thoughts together, I guess I really am a creative, silver linings oriented person who loves terrible ideas and overthinking things.  That is also one of my favorite things to do.

Thanks for the ask, @thetrashiestchild ! 

Have a random question?  I have an answer!

[hysterialevi]

When the Devil Cries pt. 18

Fanfic summary: (NO SPOILERS IN THIS STORY) After arriving in Saint Denis, Arthur ends up falling in love with a seemingly innocent pianist, only to find himself in a battle with one of the most notorious outlaws to ever emerge from America. Now, between working for Dutch and robbing money for the gang, Arthur has to also protect the man he loves as the two of them try to find their freedom.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan/Male OC

Previous chapter

This story is also on AO3

From Arthur’s POV

SHADY BELLE

ONE WEEK LATER

Waking up to a bright beam of sunlight hittin’ me directly in the face, I squinted in response and shielded my eyes with a lazy hand, only to feel my ears perk in interest when I suddenly picked up on the distant chime of piano music.

It sounded like it was comin’ from downstairs, and I could also hear a few other voices speaking over it -- Hosea and Abigail, to be precise -- but it didn’t seem like whoever was playin’ it was doing it out of leisure. It seemed more like...they was practicing. As if preparing for some kinda performance.

Heh. If I was bein’ honest, I completely forgot there was a piano downstairs in the first place. No one ever used it, and it was covered in dust and old paint just like everything else, but I could see it didn’t take Eddie long to find it.

It was nice to hear him playin’ again though. It felt like ages since he last hit a single note, and I was glad that the boy finally had some time to just take a breath and do what he loved, for once. He certainly deserved it.

Sluggishly rising from bed, I let out a fatigued yawn and rolled my shoulders, afterwards touchin’ up my appearance a bit before grabbing my hat and heading out the door.

It had been a while since I was able to walk freely on my own. Last time I was up and about, I was clingin’ onto Dutch like a man whose foot got stuck in a stirrup, and I felt like death. No -- worse than death.

Thanks to Eddie though, I was finally back home and in a good enough shape to return to work. Every inch of me still ached to some extent, but I imagined Dutch was done waiting, and had plans to hit that bank at any minute now. I’d have to be ready.

Pushing the door open, I made my way into the corridor and wandered to the stairs, listenin’ in on the conversation that was going on below as Eddie finished the song.

Abigail let out an impressed sigh, her soft voice echoing throughout the otherwise quiet mansion.

“That...was real nice, Eddie. I had no idea Arthur brought such a musician to us.”

Eddie smiled at her, thinking back to a certain memory. “Did you know I convinced Arthur to play the piano once?”

Abigail chortled. “You’re pullin’ my leg.”

“No, seriously. I managed to persuade him to play an entire song with me. He’s...actually not too bad at it.”

Surprisingly, she didn’t appear that shocked. “Is that so? Hmm...some part o’ me always knew Arthur weren’t as gruff as he came across. I mean, you leave that man with a pen and paper for long enough, and he might just create a masterpiece. Still though, I wish I was half as good as you when it came to the piano.”

Eddie quirked a brow. “You play the piano?”

“Not well,” she replied with a chuckle. “But I dabble in it sometimes. Though, it’s hard to practice regularly when I’m constantly lookin’ after that boy.”

The musician nodded in understanding. “Jack is quite the wanderer, indeed. He always seems to be exploring.”

Abigail gave him a nudge. “I was talkin’ about John.”

The two of them laughed nonchalantly at that, their voices gradually falling silent once Abigail decided it was time for her to leave.

She stood up from the piano, beaming at Eddie in a grateful manner.

“Well, thank you for playin’ that song, Mister Ryan. It was a nice change o’ pace, compared to what normally goes on around here, but...I should probably get back to work. Miss Grimshaw don’t like it when I take breaks. Or rest at all, for that matter.”

The boy waved her goodbye. “Then I won’t keep you any longer. Have a good day, Abigail. Perhaps I can teach you more songs some other time.”

The woman strolled out of the mansion. “I’d like that. Well, goodbye, Eddie. And take care of yourself, you hear?”

The pianist gave her an affable expression. “I’ll do my best.”

Tracing his fingers along the piano as Abigail took her leave, Eddie glanced outta the corner of his eye and watched Hosea as he avidly worked on something, catchin’ the boy’s attention.

Eddie peered at him in curiosity. “What are you making there, Hosea?”

The old man looked up from his project, grinning proudly as he sat up straight in his chair.

“Some bait,” he answered. “I’m planning to go hunting sometime soon. The camp should be good on food, but...it never hurts to be sure. And besides, I have no idea when I’ll get the chance to hunt again. There are so many fellas out there looking for us right now -- it’d honestly be dangerous to set foot outside camp. But we do what we have to do.”

Hosea placed the bait down for a moment, giving Eddie an inquisitive glance as I reached the bottom the stairs and quietly listened to his story.

“...Did Arthur ever tell you about that one time he and I went huntin’ for a bear?” Hosea asked.

Eddie shook his head, his expression lighting up with a newfound interest. “No. Did you catch it?”

“Yes, but it weren’t easy. We spent a few days in the wilderness all by ourselves, you see. Miles away from any sign of civilization. We were alone in the mountains...and we had nothing to go off other than my own memory.”

The old man rested his elbows on his knees, continuing the tale.

“It took us quite a while to hunt that animal down. Tracks were scarce, and the area we was camping in was huge. We would find the occasional fish carcass lying around, or disturbance in the grass...but nothing solid enough to lead us to our target.”

A victorious glint shimmered in Hosea’s eyes. “Eventually though, while Arthur and I were out scouting one day...we spotted a paw print. ...Two. Three! It was a trail. We followed it all the way up the mountain until we reached a gathering of boulders hidden deep inside a forest. It definitely looked like the sort of place a beast would turn into its home, and so that was where we placed the bait. Well, Arthur placed it. And once he was done, the two of us waited behind the boulders, sitting in complete silence.”

“We didn’t dare move a single muscle, not when there was a bear roaming around. Hell, we barely even breathed. After all, we had no idea if we truly had the upper hand in this situation. A beast such as the one we was hunting could’ve easily turned the tables if we weren’t careful, and on top of that, we were fighting it up close.”

Hosea smirked out of excitement as he reached the ending, amused to see that Eddie was listenin’ so intently to him.

“Finally, however, after what felt like an eternity...I heard a menacing growl not too far away from me. It sounded more like a monster than an animal, and I won’t lie: it got my heart racing. But I knew there was no time for fear. We had located our target at last, and it was our opportunity to strike. So, I reached for my rifle and prepared to confront it, when suddenly...a big, hairy beast came leaping out of the shadows from behind me and let out a ferocious roar, its raw power shaking the ground underneath as the birds fled from the trees surrounding us.”

Hosea brought his gaze to me, grinning mischievously.

“...Arthur scared the bear off pretty quick. Ha!”

I let out a blunt chuckle, shakin’ my head in an amused manner. “Oh, very funny.”

The older man laughed at my annoyance and took the bait in hand, switching to a more sincere tone as he leaned back in his chair.

“No...the truth is, Arthur saved my life that day. Like the old fool I am, I nearly let that bear get the best of me. But Arthur stepped in just in time. Just as I’m sure he’s done for you.”

Eddie nodded, turning towards me with a fond look. “He has.”

Hosea stood up from his chair. “See, Arthur? You do have a heart, after all.”

I snickered at that. “Oh, I wouldn’t go that far.”

The man smirked in return and began makin’ his way out the mansion, winking at Eddie in a friendly manner.

“Don’t listen to him,” Hosea teased as he walked through the door. “He may act like a big, angry moron -- and play the role exceptionally well sometimes, heh -- but there’s a soul lying underneath all that...whether he wants to admit it or not. ...Welp, anyway, I’ll leave you boys alone. In the meantime, I should go speak with Dutch. I know he’s been itchin’ to hit that bank. Stay safe.”

I gave him a casual wave. “You too, Hosea.”

Disappearing behind the mansion’s front doors, Hosea took his leave while Eddie and I stayed behind, the boy turning towards me with a relieved look on his face when he noticed I was no longer bed-ridden.

“Arthur!” Eddie greeted happily as I approached him. “You’re looking much better.”

I casually leaned against the side of the piano. “Thanks to you. How’s the gang been treatin’ you?”

The pianist’s response was surprisingly optimistic. “Most of them have been pretty welcoming. Hosea and Mary-Beth, especially. Mary-Beth can’t seem to get over the fact that you’ve found a new lover. She says it’s ‘adorable.’ Like a romance in one of those books she’s reading.”

I sighed, scratching my beard. “That does sound like somethin’ she would say.”

Eddie flicked his eyes to the side. “...And I may or may not’ve shown her the portrait you made of me.”

A groan escaped me. “...Dammit, Eddie.”

He chuckled. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t resist. It’s a wonderful drawing.”

“I’m just surprised you kept it this long.”

Eddie looked at me affectionately. “Of course I kept it. It’s...it’s special to me. I take it with me everywhere I go. Just brings back a lot of good memories, you know?”

I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck, tryin’ to hide the faint blush creeping onto my face. “Well, I’m glad you like it so much.”

A certain thought suddenly crossed my mind, leadin’ me to take a seat next to the boy as I propped myself on the edge of the piano’s thin bench.

“Listen,” I said, shifting inelegantly, “I, ah...I never thanked you properly for gettin’ me outta that camp.”

Eddie didn’t appear bothered. “I understand. You were just concerned.”

I rested my hand on the piano, mindlessly fiddling with its keys. “Yeah, but still. I’d be dead by now if you hadn’t come along and saved my ass -- all by yourself, no less. It was a brave and foolish thing, waltzin’ into their camp the way you did...but I’m grateful nonetheless. So...thank you.”

Scooting closer to the musician, I gently cupped his face and planted a brief kiss on his lips, earning a radiant smile from him as he nestled against my hand.

Eddie gazed me in a tender way, placing his own hand on top of mine.

“I’d do anything for you, Arthur. You know that.”

I nodded, furrowing my brow in uneasiness. “I do. And that’s what worries me. But I also know there ain’t no stoppin’ you once you’ve got your mind set on something. Just...don’t go throwin’ your life away like that again, okay? I don’t wanna die, but if it comes down to it, I’d rather you save yourself. Even if it means you can’t save me.”

The boy frowned at that. “Don’t talk that way, Arthur. I’m not going to abandon you.”

I let out a despondent sigh. “Yeah, well...you may not have a choice.”

Interrupting us before we could talk further, the front door suddenly swung open as Miss Grimshaw came stormin’ through, causing me and Eddie to jolt our heads in her direction to see what was goin’ on.

Susan hurriedly approached me, her temperament fueled with a sense of haste as always.

“Mister Morgan,” she called out in a cranky tone, “Dutch is lookin’ for you. Says he needs to speak with you about the bank job.”

I mentally chuckled to myself. I was wonderin’ how long it’d take for Dutch to hit the bank.

“Alright,” I said, rising from the bench and revealing Eddie in the process. “Guess I better go see him, then. Thank you, Susan.”

Upon noticing his presence, Miss Grimshaw brought her attention to the pianist and abruptly changed her mood, takin’ on a more compassionate and motherly nature.

“Oh!” She blurted out. “Well, hello there, young man. You must be that new member Dutch mentioned.”

I gestured to the boy. “This is Eddie. Eddie Ryan.” I switched over to the pianist. “Eddie, Miss Grimshaw.”

The man stood up from his seat, greeting her in a courteous manner as he reached out a hand.

“Pleasure to meet you.”

Susan politely shook his hand, actually managin’ to crack a smile for once.

“The pleasure is mine,” she replied. “It’s always a pleasure to meet someone with manners.” Grimshaw emphasized the last word, sending a glare my way.

I shrugged innocently. “I’ve got manners.”

The woman gripped my arm, forcefully guiding me out the mansion.

“For a no-good outlaw, perhaps. Now go on and get! Dutch is waitin’ for you in the gazebo outside!”

I chuckled, shielding myself from Susan’s frantic swats as she followed me out the door.

“Alright!” I said with a laugh. “I’m on my way.”

Miss Grimshaw regained her composure once I was outta the building and straightened her blouse, turning to Eddie with a sweet expression on her usually grumpy face.

“Mister Ryan, have you met Karen and Tilly yet?”

“I’m afraid not,” he answered. “I’ve met Mary-Beth, though.”

Susan beckoned him. “Well, allow me to introduce you to ‘em. Them girls drive me insane, and they haven’t got a lick of manners like yourself, but I imagine they’ll be quite fond of you.”

Eddie followed the woman, the two of us divertin’ our paths once I spotted the gazebo.

“I hope you’re right. Lord knows I’ve made more than enough enemies.”

Miss Grimshaw nodded at that with a sigh.

“Haven’t we all.”

A LITTLE LATER

Approaching the gazebo just in front of the mansion, I searched for Dutch as I strolled through Lemoyne’s humid, soupy weather, only to find a snake leanin’ against the fence.

At the moment, Micah was currently under the gazebo’s roof as he sharpened his precious knife, givin’ me an unsettling smirk while I walked up the steps.

He put his knife down for a second.

“There he is...” Micah announced, “Dutch’s favorite son. How are you, Arthur?”

I scowled at him impatiently. “Well, I was fine. What you want, Micah?”

He held his hands up defensively. “Just catchin’ up with you, my brother. No need to get angry. See, I got the chance to speak with Eddie while you was...licking your wounds this past week.”

I paused, not interested in the slightest. “...And?”

Micah smiled insincerely, placing a “friendly” hand on my shoulder. “Well, I’m happy for you, Arthur. Outta all the things to find in Saint Denis, I certainly didn’t expect you to find a lover. It’s...surprising, is all. I just never really thought of you as a romantic. ‘Specially when it came to...y’know...boys.”

I aggressively brushed his hand away. “Yeah, well you don’t do much thinkin’ anyway.”

The man gave me a condescending pout. “Why you gettin’ all sour? I ain’t judging you. In fact...I get it. We all need some sort of distraction. I mean, things is tense recently.”

“Which is why we’d all appreciate it if you left.”

Micah snickered mischievously at that, casually wavin’ his knife in my face as he leaned towards me. “Oh, Arthur...I hope you never change.”

A third, guttural voice jumped in, breaking us up before we could argue more.

“Enough! Both of you.”

Joining us in the gazebo, Dutch ascended the short stairs with a rolled up map in his hand as he stepped in between us, starin’ us down like a disappointed father.

He let out a defeated breath. “Can’t you two put aside your differences for just one minute? We have got a bank to rob, and you’re actin’ like a pair of little boys!”

As always, Micah played the role of the ass-kisser.

“I’m sorry, Dutch...” he apologized. “I don’t know what came over me. I just get...I just get so irritated sometimes, but I know it ain’t gonna do us no good. It...it won’t happen again, boss.”

The other man saw through the apology, but accepted it nonetheless.

“Thank you.”

I rested an elbow on the fence, changing the subject. “So, we still hittin’ the bank?”

Dutch spread the map out. “Yes, but not today. Tomorrow. Now, lemme explain the plan. If you’re willin’ to behave, that is.”

He pointed to the Lemoyne National Bank.

“Alright, as you both know, this city is crawlin’ with lawmen. That means if we rob this bank, every policeman in a five-mile radius is gonna be on top of us within seconds. And that’s why we need a distraction.”

I was with the plan so far. “What kinda distraction?”

Dutch brought our focus to a different part of the map, pointing at the trolley station.

“We’ll send some men to start another ‘robbery’ at the trolley station,” he explained. “That should keep the law away from the bank and give us... eight minutes or so to get in, get the money, and get out.”

I blinked in confusion. “Wait -- you wanna rob two places at once?”

Dutch seemed confident. “Why not? The robbery at the station will be more of a distraction than an actual heist, but if we can pull this off, we’ll get double the reward, and twice the amount of money.”

I still wasn’t sure. “And if the plan goes wrong, we’ll get twice the amount of trouble!”

He held up a reassuring hand. “Now, I know this is a risky move...but we need money, Arthur. And we need to get it soon. This city has thousands of dollars just sittin’ in it. We’d be fools to leave it behind!”

I shook my head, starin’ aimlessly at the swamps in the distance. “I dunno, Dutch. Robbin’ a national bank -- that ain’t no easy task. But breakin’ up the gang and startin’ another robbery on the other side of the city? That’s gonna make our chances of success even lower. The risk outweighs the reward here.”

Micah disagreed because of course he did. “Trust Dutch, Arthur. He knows what he’s doing.”

Dutch added onto that. “And besides, like I said, all we’re doin’ is making a bit of noise. If we can confuse the law and have them split up, that’ll make our escape all the easier!”

“And what if they catch someone, Dutch?” I asked. “We won’t even know until we regroup at camp.”

“They won’t,” he reiterated. “Trust me on this, Arthur. This plan will work. We just need to keep our wits about us, and we need to move fast. Just do what I say, and all will be fine. Oh, and another thing -- I want Mister Ryan to come along with us. He knows his way around Saint Denis, and we’re gonna need that knowledge if we’re hopin’ to evade the law.”

I hesitated. “You wanna bring Eddie to the robbery?”

Dutch sensed my caution. “The boy’ll be alright, Arthur. I can promise you that. Just have some faith.”

I fell silent at that, unsure of what else I could say.

It was pretty evident that Dutch was beyond the point of changin’ his mind, and no matter how much I mighta disliked this plan, I knew he was right about the money.

We could take as many jobs as we liked, and run as many errands as we wanted...but the truth o’ the matter was: the gang was runnin’ low on money. We were stuck in the middle of some godforsaken swamp with Pinkertons on our ass, and the only opportunities to grab some cash all lay in that civilized hellhole called Saint Denis.

We would have to rob something, and fast, if we wanted to get outta here. I just didn’t know if stealing from a national bank and baiting the law with our own people was the answer.

There was also the fact that Dutch wanted Eddie to come with us.

I knew the boy could handle himself, and I had no doubts he’d be able to help us...but just the idea of bringin’ him along to a goddamned bank robbery made me uneasy. I mean, I had already forced him into a den full of outlaws and degenerates. The last thing I wanted was for him to become one himself.

But then again, I didn’t really have much of a choice, did I? After all, beggars couldn’t be choosers, and he was gonna have to pull his weight if he wanted to stay.

I supposed I’d have to do what Dutch said...and just have some faith.

“...Alright,” I finally agreed, earning a satisfied expression from the older man. “I’m in.”

Dutch nodded in approval. “We will survive, Arthur. And before that sun finishes its cycle, we are gonna be a whole, lot, richer. Now, why don’t you go and inform Eddie of the plan? I want the whole gang to be prepared for this. We ain’t robbin’ theaters and galas no more, after all. Tomorrow...we’re hitting the heart of Saint Denis.”

[iarollane]

21 Questions

I was tagged by the illustrious @pikapeppa, thank you!

+Rules: answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

Nickname: I don't really have an actual nickname much anymore. In high school a friend used to call me Kimo. Other than that I tend to respond to the names of characters I've cosplayed.

Zodiac: Leo by western, rabbit by Chinese.

Height: 5′9″

Last movie I saw: Hubby and I have been watching Sword Art Online and just the other night we watched the "movie" that essentially recaps the first season. Other than that... Probably the bits I saw of 'Inside Out' that I put on while taking care of my son. But that was a few months ago, more often I put on anime or kids shows.

Last thing I googled: uuum the location and phone number of a prenatal clinic?

Favourite musician: Queen is right there at the top of my list. So is Muse. Linkin Park when I was younger.

Song stuck in my head: It was random anime openings. But thanks to pikapeppa it's now 'Here comes the sun' XP

Other blogs: I'm still fairly new to tumblr, so this is it here. Though I do have a deviantArt floating around that I haven't touched in a long while.

Do I get asks: a few random things here and there. O think I can count on one hand how many I've received

Following: *checks* 98

Amount of sleep: lolololol I have a nine month old son. How much sleep do you think?

Lucky number: XII

What I’m wearing: tanktop, sweater, and zipup(i love this zipup, it has Maleficent on the left breast) a pair of leggings, and two pairs of socks. Oh and glasses.

Dream job: I'd love to be able to read, edit, and proofread professionally. I do it to all my books anyway so

Dream trip: it would be amazing to be able to actually travel the world. But if I had to pick only one place... Ireland.

Play any instruments: in middle school i played the flute. I dabbled in guitar in high school. Haven't picked up either in years.

Languages: English. I know a smattering of Spanish.

Favourite songs: oooo so tough, I love so much music. Currently 'Judas' by Fozzy is probably by the top of my list. Also anything by Queen. Ummm 'Butterflies and Hurricanes' by Muse.

Random fact: I'm known as the OCD clean freak at work, but when I'm home I rarely clean anything... it's a bit of a problem.

Describe yourself as aesthetic: o.o a what *frantically searches online* Ummm I'd probably have two. Private/home settings would be overlarge sweaters, fluffy blankets jeaped on a couch, hair in a messy frizzy braid and a stack of books and video games. Public/work would be subtle contouring makeup with winged eyeliner and a bold lip colour, black sweater and cargo pants, a messenger bag *and* mini backpack, and heeled sneakers. My personal mind one would be lightning and high storm clouds, silver dragon wings, sharp claws and green eyes glowing in the darkness. If I just put together things I love and wish I could wear every day, I'd probably look like a Harry Potter character with better makeup.

Who to tag.... honestly there's only about 3 people I've even talked to instead of stalking silently, and one of them was the one that tagged me, so that leaves @elevanetheirin and @sassylavellen. I think I'll also tag @roguelioness since she's the reason I made my way onto this hellsite. Ummm maybe @nipuni because she's amazing and I fell in love with her and her character Nalia long before I got here. @cobaltash because of the awesome picture of my oc Lashanna in a dress I designed for Halamshiral. @hachidori-e because while I have no idea what the arcana that you draw most often actually is, your art is beautiful and you are adorable. @rock-paperback-scissors because.

Uuuhm yeah i think I'll leave the tagging at that. Anyone else that wants to can do it as well!

[jujyfru1t]

hello my name is *yells about Furuba*

I dunno what I’m doing but I have Feelings so let me rant about them, by me.

Some of y'all may not know that Fruits Basket is my favorite series on the planet– well you do now. That comes with a caveat of favorite manga, not favorite anime (that honor goes to either Noragami or Chihayafuru, with Madoka Magica as an honorable mention). I do also love the anime dearly! But comparing them is like apples and oranges, horses of different colors, etc etc, not least because the anime was made before the manga was barely halfway through. futile hope springs eternal for a full remake. So most of my feels rant will be manga-centric although the general feels apply to the anime, and uh there may be spoilers idk it’s been out for a long time???

The first volume came out in the US five days after my *deep breath* 15th birthday. I got it for the next year’s bday present from my big sis, aaaand that was when the gates of otaku/manga hell swallowed me up (I was somehow unaware that Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh were also Japanese pop culture, go figure.) I have no memory of how I found the anime– my anime-bittorrent-whateverthefuck knowledge was nonexistent but I don’t think it was airing live. I got the box set for some Christmas but that would’ve been after I was a massive fan so *shrug*

Anyway I watched the dub first and holy hell if I wasn’t planning to marry Yuki Sohma before then I definitely was after that, thanks Eric Vale. (I still have huge love for the dub cast fight me). Yun-chan was my first 2D crush and tbqh I’m still in love with him. Also I stg he’s the whole reason why pretty boys are a Big Thing of mine. And wait omg Shigure’s first appearance?! Like, that’s probably why dudes with glasses are also My Thing wow I just blew my own mind but moving on

Fun fact I couldn’t choose between Kyoru or Yukiru bc they were both cute (present me@young me: u will realize eventually grasshopper) but I was 100% cool with Kyoru happening because of course then I could be with Yuki. Cue me dabbling in a few paragraphs of self-insert fic.

uh lemme cut this it’s becoming a novel

Random things (this whole thing is random wtf):

I was blessed enough to get my hands on the entire Tokyopop run, plus the fanbooks!!! before they shut down. I’ve been warring with myself for ages over whether to start collecting the Yen Press specials but. my resolve is weakening. I also have all of Takaya-sensei’s other stuff yeet (Phantom Dreams, Those with Wings, Songs to Make You Smile) except for Twinkle Stars which I’m def gonna get and OBVIOUSLY THE INSTANT FURUBA ANOTHER COMES OUT IM GRAB meanwhile if I remember to check out the scans

been a while since I reread it(it’ll be my third one~) but off the top of my head some favorite arcs etc are: obviously the major one at the end of vol 6. The Red Cap. Hatori and Kana (RIP ME) The Summerhouse (Jason the bear jfc). Akito’s reveal. Kyoko and Katsuya’s entire thing obviously (EXTRA RIP ME I’m crying just thinking about it). “The plum on your back” scenes. Kyo and Kyoko. THAT FIRST NEW YEAR’S WHEN YUKI AND KYO RACE BACK TO THE MAIN HOUSE BECAUSEtheir girlfriend MY DAUGHTER IS SAD AND LONELY AND THEY MAKE WISHES ON THE ROOF heck me upppp– also literally all roof scenes (karate kid Tohrutm) BUT THAT ONE HHGBNCCSV!!! Also my fav episode along with the AU-ish final 2.

Furuba fandom is my biggest fleet of ships by far which is hilarious bc I have a lot of fandoms and a lot of ships and you can see them bc i’m a derp but since nobody looks at that and nobody will read this (?) I’ma talk about them here. I DO WANT I WANT YO

but seriously I support

literally all the canon ships except HanaxShishou, pardon me Takaya-sensei but why. Wtaf.

a metric fuckton of non-canon ships bc of COURSE I DO

my low-key ships include

MomijixKagura. pairing the spares if you will XD

KaguraxTohru

RinxTohru. yes I have bi Tohru headcanons mmkay

Future!Kisa/Tohru (blame this fic)

KyoxUo.

YukixHana. all symmetrical-like (but wow i forgot i highkey shipped it for a while until…)

GurexAaya. like, come on. Also poly Mabudachi Trio

MomijixTohru. they’re super hecking cute ok, edging into high-key

my high-key ships include

HanaxUo. ok this??? is a big OTP, and 99% why I’m hella salty over HanaxShishou (at least KurenoxUo had an actual subplot!!). They are Tohru’s adoptive moms and I will forever protec (and yet. HanaxTohru and girls OT3 are also Good Ships but tbh super low-key) also I MADE SOMEONE SHIP IT

YukixTohru. see the start of this post way up there somewhere

KyoxYuki. my first rivalshiptm

HaruxYuki. “He was my first love” one cannot simply– have a character say this and not expect fans to ship. Also bi Haru is canon. lotta bi folks up in here imo

KakeruxYuki. CUTE GODDAMN DORKS WOW

But my flagship, my OTP to end all OTPs and my polyship to end all polyships in any fandom is the SS Yukyoru. KyoxTohruxYuki.

I’ve had polyship predilections for 6-7 years now, though it’s more recent I’ve started polyshipping every love triangle i encounter bc I‘m so done with them… there wasn’t really any lightning-bolt moment when I realized I shipped them much more together rather than apart. but like, I ship all three permutations so at some point my brain went HERE’S AN IDEA which tbh is how a lot of my polyships happen, i mainly have OT3s (if I ship 2 outta 3 there’s a good chance ima poly it)

but anyway! there’s absolutely no way to convey how much I adore this ship and IT’S A HUGE EMPTY YACHT I NEED CREW MEMBERS PLZ

I am building it up one fic at a time and if you’ve made it this far and have any interest at all plz read my shit and general Furuba screaming is appreciated as well of course!!! (also look at the most beautiful piece of fanart ever)

More fic! have my mixed bag of bookmarks (Sure For The Axis is my absolute fav, 2nd is Little Prayer) u can also find my Yukyoru stuff on AO3 ehehe~ and oh look HanaxUo!

and holy whoa i’m done. TLDR FURUBA IS THE BEST MANGA EVER AND YUKYORU IS THE PUREST RARESHIP EVER

THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

[elliot-orion]

Writeblr Re-Intro

I’ve seen quite a few people do this in the past couple weeks so i figure i probably should too considering how stinking long its been. so. hi there! I’m Elliot, and I use they/them pronouns! I’m a college kid majoring in creative writing and anthropology and regret doing both. I have a 9 year old emotional support cat, Van Gogh, who enjoys snoring, getting fur in my mouth, and chewing on my headphones. In addition to writing, I crochet amigurumis, play flight rising, bake like mad, obsess over dragons and stuffed animals, and spend way too much time thinking about superheroes. 

I mostly write LGBT+ Young Adult/New Adult fiction, and recently published my first novel, “Sparks Fly.” You can see a tumblr summary of it here. “Sparks Fly” and the majority of my stories take place in the expansive Dark Heart Universe full of not so heroic Super Heroes and Super Villains with questionable but not necessarily bad morals. But I like to dabble all over and have WIPs including a horror duology, a scifi roadtrip story, and about 800 other WIPs that are going nowhere because I’m a pantser and that’s how i roll. Expect to see me name drop some characters or a story, tag it in one ask game, and then never mention it again rather frequently. I apologize in advance. The main stories you will actually see me mentioning a bunch are below the cut. 

I technically have a website, and I technically have a twitter, but the former is a mess because I can’t program or remember to regularly blog and the latter i never use because social media scares me. Think there’s like 10 tweets on it and all of them are niche shitposts about my stories so... yea. I do have a Pinterest though, where you can find boards for most of my stories as well as a few of the name dropped once stories. so that’s fun. This intro is a mess.... Anyways, below the cut are some quick summaries of my main WIPs. If you want to learn more about the world that half of these are a part of (the DHU), look through this tag because my only summary series of it is way out of date. 

Woodsmoke

A DHU novel. Woodsmoke is a Hero who 100% should not be going to the worst Villain in town, Stardust, for help, but fuck it he doesnt have any other option. In return for helping Woodsmoke save a whole bunch of school kids, Stardust demands Woodsmoke owes him a favor - he has to help Stardust and his gang get rid of the Director of the city’s Supers Association branch. The only probably is, the Director control everything, and Woodsmoke is utterly terrified of him. But, he owes a favor, and he’s even more afraid of what Stardust could do to civilians than he is of what the Director could do to him. When it all goes wrong, maybe its time for him to give up being a Hero and stop being Woodsmoke. Maybe it’s time to just be Vincent again, and finally heal from the damage the SA has done. This is on its fourth draft and still needs about 2 or so more (guessing here), but will hopefully be the next DHU book released (dont quote me on that im winging this)

Nightmare at the Lily Pad Inn 

A DHU novel. Ben, who’s technically a Villain but really just can’t control their powers for shit and their powers are like, really scary so its bad, is on the run from their sociopathic asshole brother. They wind up at the Lily Pad Inn, a safe haven for Villains no matter what they’ve done, run by the cinnamon roll sweetheart Matty and their husband, Blue. While there, Ben meets Oliver, another not-technically-bad Super who can’t control his powers, and meets up with Morty, their best friend. Shit happens i guess idk i’ve not written a real summary for this one yet leave me alone. It’s on the first draft and its not even finished and i have no idea what the ending is because im a pantser go away.

Novella Collection

A DHU collection i guess. I’m not quite sure what else to call this because it’s made of three or so different novellas that I intend to fit together into a collection of novellas. The three novellas includes: the Empath, about Charlie who may just be the worlds most powerful empath and his partners who are very not happy with their area’s Director wanting Charlie to do something that could 100% kill him; Hell in High Heels, a historical DHU story about the Terra (Kitty), the Earth Elemental of the time, and Fer-De-Lance (Hattie), the Poison Elemental, and how they get married sorta unwillingly (thanks SA), break a shit ton of stereotypes, and help win World War 2.; and finally Wildfire, about the current day Fire Elemental and the Villain he really shouldn’t be so attracted to but 100% is and them chilling and being gay and idk this one needs a lot of work. All of these novellas have only had 1 draft and are still needing a lot of work. 

And now for some not dhu stories... 

The Other Beings / The Doll Maker

This is that horror duology I mentioned earlier. The Other Beings follow Nathan. He got sucked into the terrifying world of the Other Beings (well, 5 worlds actually),  when he was 7 years old because of a brother he’s never quite forgiven for making him and his pseudo-sister Hazel hunt minor Beings for his whole childhood and fucking Nate up massively. He managed to leave the horror of the Other Beings for all of seven years before he was sucked back in by the Doll Maker, an Other Being with a penchant for turning pretty children and people into ball-jointed dolls. Turns out a horde of Other Beings is coming after him because of his dad which is a Bad and now he’s having to run as a human macguffin and trust me - he’s not happy about it. Only the Other Beings draft 1 has been written because it’s a dark story and with covid i have not have the mental energy to work on it more, but it’s super fun and i adore it. The Doll Maker, the second book, is solely about Doll Maker and his shit. 

Paper Stars 

Paper Stars is the scifi I mentioned, and just might be one of my favorite things I’ve ever written, even though its only had one draft because it’s hella depressing (literally, the mc River is seriously suicidal) and with all the shit in my life rn i haven’t had the strength to work on it more. but i adore the story. Basically, River’s life has gone to hell since his Grandpa died and the only thing making him hold on is really his alien best friend, Keio. When his depression gets even worse, he finally asks Keio to take him away from Earth and to space to escape his problems. This works, kinda, i mean he falls in love and shit (yes River falls in love with a seal furry alien, please go through the tag its great), but eventually he knows he has to face his problems and get help because this is a realistic story about depression and love doesnt cure all and you cant run from mental illness. It’s great. 

That’s kinda all the main stories i mention a lot, all the others are little things i start and stop or that i write a self indulgent first draft but never intend to take it any further. all of these i fully intend to publish one day tho. So... yea. Welcome to my blog, its chaos but we have a good time. 

[tsukito-xiv]

Honest Q&A: Tsukito Watanabe

What is your full name? “Tsukito Watanabe”

What do your friends call you? “Tsu mostly if not my whole first name. ‘Kito is only for Una to use.”

What is your favorite animal? “I am fond of horses, anything else well...if it’s small, fluffy, and/or cute. Then I would like it, just like the Dwarf Rabbit Una gifted to me.”

Where were you born? “Doma, my parents earning their place after leaving the Steppes to live in Monzen...”

Do you have children? “Well, we do take in a lot of children and care for them but actually ours. There is Tristan who was found in Limsa Lominsa, and the newest addition; Ami. She is an adorable little xaela baby we found in...the midst of a massacre. We couldn’t leave her there, so she came with us.”

Is there a person/people you love? “Una. He is...my love, my light...” he looks to the side embarrassed.

What is your favorite color? “I don’t tend to stick with one color but I suppose Blue, Silvers, and Reds.

What is your full occupation? “That’s tough to answer honestly. I do help run the library we own in the Lavender Beds which is also where we house the kids. A learning environment would be beneficial to them. Though I also try to help out at the Conjurors Guild when there are many needing healing; or helping people I see with my work as a healer if I’m able. I...do many things but, those are the ones I can talk about”

Are you good at physical fighting? “Not...really, no.”

Which form are you best at? “I’m not very strong, but when I need to do hand to hand so to speak. I use knives, something simple but effective if used properly though I’d rather leave any physical fighting to those that are...better suited to it than myself.”

What about magic? “I am rather proficient in this field, namely healing magic. I am a healer, I enjoy healing and helping others, be it a small injury or something more.”

Which type are you best at? “I believe I answered this in the question before.”

Craftsmanship? “Well, I suppose creating food would be considered as one. I do enjoy cooking for others, especially Una. Other things, I sew clothing and plushes which I give away sometimes to the kids or others that ask for one. I don’t mind giving them away, it’s good practice. I also...dabble in alchemy.”

Any other skills? He makes a shrugging motion “I...do not know? Does talking another language count? Picking up different forms of healing quickly? I...don’t know what you would consider a skill...”

Are you an only child? “Yes. At least as far as I know and I’m fairly certain. It wasn’t that I was a handful growing up but perhaps...our situation of my upbringing. I...didn’t get to live with my parents really for a good portion of my childhood till we fled to Eorzea.”

Where do you see yourself in five years? “Alive...I hope. Seeing myself teaching Ami and Tristan growing up. Una and I still together, and both of us still in one piece...” he makes a “what?” motion, “What’s with the face? The piece comment? Well, adventuring is rather dangerous is it not? How do you think we supply the more rare books in our collection for others.”

Have you ever almost died? Looks down and to the side. “A number of times. As a child, I nearly drowned, then a year or so after I received a bad cut across my entire torso and probably would have bled out without help...Una has saved me from being abducted from a past...boyfriend that I’m sure would have ended in execution. Those are the ones that come to mind.”

Do you have a secret, not just a secret, but like a really big secret, hardly anyone knows? “Yes, Una is the only living person that knows of it in full and has helped me with it. I will not tell anyone about, it’s been dealt with anyway, so why dwell on it?”

Salty or sweet? “Salty...I don’t mind sweets but I would prefer salty over it.”

Do you like yourself? “Not really, I am...being better about that for Una, Ami...everyone.”

Do you believe in the Twelve? “No...not really”

Are you religious? “I actually don’t know what I believe in. I was introduced to the idea of the twelve and all that when we arrived in Eorzea. I don’t want anything to do with Nhaama or Azim either. I suppose the closest thing I would consider a religious belief would be in the Kami, which makes a bit more sense to me.”

Do you carry prejudice with you? “I don’t think I do?”

What do you consider entertainment? “Reading, dancing, and recently hearing Ami babble, she’s rather cute and is getting closer to speaking her first words I think”

Favorite drink? “Tea, most types. Though the one I like the most was from near our old home in Doma. Jasmine tea, there’s something very, calming yet energizing about it at the same time.”

Do you have any family traditions? He blinks a few times and makes an uncomfortable face. “Family traditions? Well...if we had anyone I never saw or participated in them. In Doma, for family, it was just my parents and myself, they were building a whole new life so I doubt they had a thought about such things. Not that I can ask them if they were, they’re both gone...”

Are you a good person? “I try to be, I do have my moments if you do something I deem unforgivable but generally speaking I try to be a good person to most.”

Thank you for answering my questions. Another shrug, “If we’re done, I’m going to go now and get some work done.”

tagged by: @una-xiv

[endgamerpg-blog]

BENJAMIN XAVIER VANDERBILT

“The Narcissus”

Age: 20

Gender & Pronouns: Cis-male, he/him

Sexuality: Bisexual

Year: Third Year

Faceclaim: Romain Hamdous

College & Major: Dalton School of Sciences, Pre-Med Club: Student Council President Rank: #1

Wealth: Old Gen. While the Vanderbilt’s were once considered New Gen money, they’ve made a legacy for themselves as “American Royalty”. While there have been declines within the treasury of money, the branch that Benjamin descends from still owns a number of luxury apartments in New York, Railroads that connect coasts as well as other endeavors within business. Benjamin is set to inherit at least 50 million of the family’s shareholdings.

SUMMARY

Born in Manhattan, New York City as Benjamin Xavier Vanderbilt, he was fondly referred to as “Benji” as a child, a nickname given by his mother which he absolutely loathes. But when his mother calls him that, he accepts it with a bit lip.

He’s the only son in his family of four. He has an elder sister who’s always been obnoxiously involved in his life. She’s five years older than him and as of the recent has left him alone. But no matter how annoying she can be, he’s still very fond of her and they have a very good relationship.

Benjamin rarely see’s his father who’s often occupied with business trips. While born as an American, Benjamin holds dual citizenship as his mother is a born and bred Brit. Although his mother’s familial background is nowhere near as impressive as the Vanderbilt history, she does hail from her own line of Old English nobility. His mother is currently a philanthropist. Benjamin’s parents have long since separated but in the eyes of the law, they are still married. Through out his youth, he’s suspected both parental parties having their fair share of affairs but neither seem to admit to it.

Despite being born in America, Benjamin’s tutelage is properly English as he spent most of his childhood and youth in England. He has an RP accent (received pronunciation).

He was brought to the top private schools since he was a toddler. When he turned 13, he enrolled into Eton College. He was also a King’s Scholar when he was attending.

Although he spent most of his time in England, he has preferred being in New York as the culture is very different. During holidays, he travels all over the world (he had a phase of so called ‘acquiring culture’) while also attempting to learn several languages at once. He’s learned mandarin quite well, decently fluent in the romance languages and has been picking up German on top of dabbling in Russian and Japanese.

He has an IQ of 145 therefore making him a “genius.”

Because of his upbringing, he’s learned anything and everything. He knows how to play the piano and the violin, play polo, rugby, fence, football (soccer), swim and also a bit of drawing (though one would debate how good he was at that). Within academics, he’s been awarded numerous accolades in scientific research. While his mathematics are also very good, he’s preferred the sciences instead. He does adore literature but prefers the classic novels over contemporary fiction. He’s very particular in his taste with cinema and appreciates films with beautiful aesthetics.

He’s an absolute narcissist and loves his face. But he also loves beautiful things in general which was how some of his romantic relationships start. He’s found it much harder to be intellectually and romantically compatible with a suitable partner so instead he takes it upon himself to ignore those attributes and indulge in the physical appearances. He likes to surround himself with beautiful people as it makes his world a ‘better place.’

He became student council president by accident. He never really cared to be a part of the elite and had always been at the cusp rank of #8. He was satisfied enough until one day the previous number one of the school decided to challenge him. It turned out the previous number one (who has since graduated) was looking for someone to pass the position to on his own accord. Plus it didn’t help when Benjamin held high admiration (perhaps infatuation) with him as well that made him untouchable. In a way, Benjamin didn’t really have to work for his victory as the previous number one let him win. However this isn’t to say that his new found position didn’t raise suspicion. At first many people doubted him and so to prove his worth, he challenged them all and won. Seeing how no one has been able to beat him, his status as student president now reigns without question. He is worthy.

Benjamin is a pre-med student because of two reasons. He loves medicine itself and he also has somewhat of a God complex. He finds the idea so fascinatingly interesting to hold control of someone’s fate - to be the wielder of life or death. It’s certainly a dangerously unhealthy mindset but it stimulates his genius.

On the surface Benjamin comes off as pretty irresponsible and lazy as he mostly just signs off on the responsibilities in the student council while everyone else deals with the paperwork. However, when expected to rise to the top as a leader, he’s able to do his part and be the icon that everyone needs.

He hates children and finds animals to be filthy creatures.

Most of what he wears comes from the Burberry collection with the occasional Balenciaga and other brand names.

He loves to nap and can be found more often than not, sleeping in various positions and places in school.

He’s no doubt, a pompous asshole, still a very immature boy and probably needs to learn how to grow up.

He’s fairly experimental and is willing to try most things. Of course he’s tried the drinking, the smoking and the drugs but neither are very satisfying so he’s since stopped. He has more of an adrenaline rush when he’s swimming.

He’s had plenty of flings but never a proper girlfriend or boyfriend. He lost his virginity at 16 to a boy he met at an art gallery (he couldn’t help it,he looked like part of the sculpture exhibition).

He keeps his sexuality hidden from his parents as both are devout protestant Christians and he knows that they wouldn’t understand.

Enjoys the student council for it’s benefits, though, he also likes to be in charge too. Ever since he stepped foot into Keating University, he’s only lost once in gambling.

PLOTS

THE UNDERLING : A plot where Benjamin has his own personal little follower. Guy or girl, doesn’t really matter but they’d gladly do his bidding for him. I’d say either Benjamin has a loyal little disciple trailing after his tail or someone who lost against him and owes him big time. If it happens to option number two, then well, let’s just say Benjamin is showing “mercy” but having said person repay through their services rather than through their bank account.

THE OLD FRIEND : Someone who was once Benjamin’s friend, someone who’s also a third year and came into Keating at the same time as him. After his shift in ranking, everything changed and they had a fall out. Now under new circumstances, they’ve met up again and have hit things off, looking back before they were numerical systems. Though of course, Benjamin enjoys his status, who knows if the same could be said for his ‘old friend’.

THE BEAUTY : As much as Benjamin loves his own image, he also loves other’s images. But make no mistake, the other person should fall under the category of ‘beautiful’. (Yes he’s that shallow). Anyways, with this relationship, I can see it being one entirely physical and possibly leads to something more seriously romantic. But straight off the bat, Benjamin is really only interested in the Beauty as another pretty thing to admire and touch.

THE FIANCEE: This arrangement was made long ago by their families and it’s something that Benjamin doesn’t give a damn about. While his mother has encouraged him to get along with her selected daughter in law, he does as he pleases. The student should be from minimum old money or even distant royalty. The type of relationship I see in this would be based on mutual distaste. But I’d love for a situation be thrown in their path that forces the duo to get along for the sake of some specific purpose (haven’t thought of one yet).

THE MONSTER: This is less of a relationship plot and more of a personal character arc, at the moment Benjamin is still rather lazy and ‘chill’. But I’d like for him to start spiraling as he begins to wreak havoc upon others because he’s found himself enjoying the sadism. And as great as the number one is, perhaps he too shall meet his down fall (?) An idea that can be explored as the rp continues to play forth.

Written by Admin Emma

[squeemcsquee]

Anime Central, 2018: Day 1

I meant to get this one written sooner, but it’s been kind of an exhausting work week since A-Cen. Anyhow..if you need more of my A-Cen 2018 stuff...

Previous Anime Central 2018 Posts:

A-Cen 2018: Day Zero

A-Cen 2018, Day 1 Cosplayers, Part 1

A-Cen 2018, Day 1 Cosplayers, Part 2

A-Cen 2018, Day 1 Cosplayers, Part 3

So my schedule didn’t quite work out the way I thought it would this year. But that’s okay.  I spent the day as a Night Vale Girl Scout and @el-draco-bizarro and @someoldmemory were my troopmates. @lechevaliermalfet was Cecil Palmer of the Night Vale Community Radio Station. There are photos of us in the Day 1 cosplay post, or in this post from @el-draco-bizarro

Our group started off pretty much all together in the “Zen Cosplay: Cosplay made stress free!” panel. We were late, but that was okay. The goal of the panel was some basic cosplay education and tips for planning your cosplay effectively and efficiently. It was led by an awesome group of Over the Garden Wall cosplayers. 

I would say that for beginners or those without a lot of planning and/or crafting skills, this is a decent reference panel. It was also entertaining, which was good.

@lechevaliermalfet and I had to cut out early in order to get to “The Myths and Legends of Fate/Stay Night”

I hope this one comes back next year. This was pretty frickin’ great and I would happily sit through it again. @lechevaliermalfet got me into the Fate franchise, but I still don’t really know the myths and legends surrounding all of the characters yet.

Also, that panel had this:

So, if you weren’t aware...the Fate franchise involves some characters’ gender being altered because...well, reasons. No, really, I’m not 100% clear on those reasons but I think we can safely blame magic for part, and Merlin for a few parts.

I actually regretted ducking out of this one early for my next panel: “Fatal Frame: They Did What With A Camera?”

This is the second Fatal Frame panel I have tried to attend this year and while I stayed to the end and it suited me a bit better than the one at Anime Zap...it still was lacking for me. At this point, I don’t know what I’m actually looking for in panels on this franchise, since gameplay demos and storyline rundowns don’t seem to be doing it for me. And yet, despite the fact I am a complete wimp, I adore these games. 

I was introduced to them when one of my roommates in undergrad played through the first 3 over the course of the school year. Almost always at night, almost always with cursing and over-the-top dramatic flailing and mocking. @shbumi sometimes got in on the fun of watching her navigate the games and providing commentary. Anyway, I adore them, am too chickenshit to get far in them myself (though I own 1-3 for PS2 and the 3ds Spirit Camera spinoff), and just wanna squee over them with someone! But, apparently, not via panel, perhaps.

Moving on... I think we did this first, so I’m just going to put it here. Anime Central was helping promote Parasyte this year, so I participated. This is also how @lechevaliermalfet got a 3rd eye for his Cecil cosplay.

This year’s dealer’s room and artist alley felt better organized and had more breathing room than last year’s, I think. Things were still jam-packed in the best kind of way, though. 

It felt too weird to really take good notes on things I liked/disliked on that area, but I really probably should have. Instead, I walked away with a note on a title to check out from the Funimation booth. A note - but not a purchase. I have learned a lesson from dealer’s rooms over the years, including Anime Central’s: Unless it is harder to track down (limited editions, soundtracks, etc). it is almost always cheaper to buy somewhere else. 

They did move the chalk artist this year. I think that helped with the flow in the registration area, especially with the addition of lines for autograph tickets. But it also meant that when I was looking for him, he was harder to find! Maybe he was on the map and I missed it? I did find him eventually though.

From the dealer hall to the artist alley!

Look at that! So much more space to maneuver and get around! You could actually walk close to an artist’s booth and still leave room for someone else to purchase a thing while you browsed! It was great!

And so many talented artists this year! @lechevaliermalfet spent a record amount and bought a shitton of art and stuff, which I will log at a later point because omg, I love it all.  @lechevaliermalfet and I then made our way into a guest panel: “Visual Novel Development and Q&A with Rosuuri”

It was interesting, and I’m curious about Rosuuri’s projects - but it really wasn’t for us. Neither of us are actually planning to develop a game or write for one or anything. We skipped out once the Q & A began to be a bit more technical.

I do believe dinner was then acquired. My timeline around meals / people watching / general downtime is sketchier, but oh wells.

I know that the next panel was “”Censorship in Japanese Anime and Manga: A View from the Frontlines”  

The panel started with a bit of a comparison of censorship in the US vs Japan. It delved into stuff I didn’t know, like that Japanese law can be suuuper vague on what qualifies as in need of censorship and sometimes it seems to just come down to what law enforcement thinks is right at the time. I also had no idea that the big comic markets in Japan will actually make people change into their cosplays once they are on-site, simply because there is a risk of offending someone outside the market because it happened before, ages ago.

This panel was also when I began to realize just how many notes I was taking in the Guidebook app. Side note in that I both love and hate this feature - if I wanted to add a new note for a new thing, I had to go into the “Notes” section and create it. Otherwise, any notes I tried to add from say, the relevant entry in the guide itself, would just get added to the original note.

Also, A-Cen rewtweeted my tweet about being excited for this panel. So there’s that too.  Really, this is one that I think needs to come back. It was informative, useful, and I liked it. It was in that weird time frame of being around my normal dinner time and where I was wearing down a little from the day, so sometimes my focus was off. That’s the one downside to the more “academic” panels being later in the day, though I imagine that’s when more adults will actually make it to them.

From there, we raced off to the video game area to kill time and Oh. My. God. I didn’t think Anime Central could improve on that room over last years, but they totally did! I really, really hope that they use that area again this year - last year’s was nice, but I am kinda glad that a prom had it booked this year. My only complaint was how the noise wasn’t easily contained but otherwise...I loved how much room there was, since it made divisions between the areas clearer. As I have done before - and maybe this should become a new goal? - I dabbled in a game or two that I didn’t know. Then I challenged @lechevaliermalfet to Space Invaders and yay! I did better than he did!

The highlight of the day, however, was our grand finale. First, we had to navigate the packed lobby of the Hyatt:

And then we got in line for “Anime Hell” There were several entertaining slides while we waited, including ones featuring a race:

I rooted for Godzilla & Porg, but it was not meant to be.

For those not in the know - and we definitely weren’t! - “Anime Hell” is a mish-mash of Japanese commercials, cartoon clips, and just plain old weirdness. @lechevaliermalfet and I figured that perhaps it would be like “AMV Hell” and it was in that things were balls-to-the-wall weird, goofy, entertaining, etc. But it was more live-action oriented.

My notes from this were mostly comments on my friends’ reactions or my own, and making note of what really made us laugh.I have a note that says I need to check out Chargeman Ken - likely to see if the stuff we were shown was just as bonkers as the subtitles made it appear to be or not.

It’s how a gummy ad became a group meme for us. I think we might be making this a tradition in the future. 

There was a “Midnight Madness” follow-up in the same room, but we didn’t stay for that. It was midnight and I think everyone was a little bit sleepy and just worn out.  And that was Day 1!

All of my Anime Central 2018 Coverage:

A-Cen 2018: Day Zero

A-Cen 2018, Day 1 Cosplayers, Part 1

A-Cen 2018, Day 1 Cosplayers, Part 2

A-Cen 2018: Day 1 Cosplayers, Part 3

A-Cen 2018: Day One

A-Cen 2018: Day 2 Cosplayers, Part 1

A-Cen 2018: Day 2 Cosplayers, Part 2

A-Cen 2018: Day 2 Cosplayers, Part 3

A-Cen 2018: Day Two

A-Cen 2018: Day 3 Cosplayers, Part 1

A-Cen 2018: Day 3 Cosplayers, Part 2

A-Cen 2018: Day Three

[m-intheworld-blog]

So, what is this? Take That vs Conception.

I have to admit to actually having no idea what Tumblr is. I was looking up ways to start a blog and this was offered as a suggestion. I'm not sure if I need to add friends who'll be able to read this or if it just fires out into the big wide world for all to see.

So, maybe I'll just blag my way through. I'll type a few things and see what happens. I don't have an actual idea for blogging, I don't have an actual topic that I wish to write about. I thought I could mix it up and ramble on about general things that happen in my life, day to day. 

I don't have strong opinions on subjects and I'm certainly not an expert in any field. But, just sharing everyday experiences might be entertaining. Right?

Maybe if I start by telling you the basics about me, that could be a good start.

I'm a female who has recently turned 36. I'm not sure how I felt about this, I don't feel old, but when it comes to conception, I'm old (a subject I'm sure we will get to). I have been married for nearly 9 years and don't have any children (told you).

We do have an 8 year old cat who we adopted about 4 years ago. It wasn't a planned adoption, she chose us and moved in. From across the street. Awkward. Anyway, she's an adorable little beauty who changed my opinions on cats. My husband had always hoped and prayed that we would have a little kitty of our own, I on the other hand was totally against it. In my life I had only ever encountered nasty little spitty cats who seemed to take great pleasure in scratching me. So, when our cat arrived, I was dubious. However, she is the softest cat around. Not a malicious bone in her teeny body. She will be featuring in future blogs, for sure.

We live in a Buckinghamshire village, in a standard 2 bed semi which we bought 5 years ago.  Luckily we are surrounded by countryside, a nature reserve and beauty. The country was the only choice for us. Although it wasn't our upbringing. We're both from council estates. 

I have a small business hand painting guitars and ukuleles in psychedelic designs. I also work part time as a Merchandiser. I'm someone who likes to be creating. I get frustrated if I've not crafted something for a long time. 

I love the 1960s era. Not only the music, but the fashion. I love the colors and style of the hippie movement, plus the ethics. Peace and love. That's what life should be about. We're only here for a short time, so why waste all that time fighting and hating?  

I'm a vegetarian. Something I have dabbled in my whole life, but have recently become fully committed to. Its not really a political statement, as I know that me not eating meat will actually make no difference to the world. But, I've never enjoyed eating meat, I guess I felt I had to, but now I know I don't! My husband decided to give it a go after a rather disturbing video he saw about animal farming, but he lasted about a week. He gave up in a restaurant when he saw the steak on the menu!

I like watching documentaries, mainly about history. I'm a Tudor geek. Anything hosted by Dr.Lucy Worsley, I'm all over.

I love music. All music really, my iPod is rather eclectic. But I'm a a huge Take That fan, have been since I was 11. Certainly be covering this topic in the future.

I absolutely love a conspiracy theory. I waste many few hours down the YouTube rabbit hole.

So, now you know the basics. I'll be touching on all the above mentioned items here. If you're interested in any of the topics,  I hope you'll pop back. 

M 😉

[datingadviceonreddit]

This is going to be long but please bare with me. I'm going to give a little introduction about myself (I'm a new reddit user), then give the background story in lots of detail (feel free to skim). Totally a TLDR, so my bad...My name's Martin. I'm 23 years old and have been working at the same store for the past 4 years. I dabble in a bit of music outside of work with my band, but you'll hear that later. It's been roughly two years since my last relationship and in the past few months I've been relatively happy and feeling myself, so naturally I feel okay to try dating again. I've been using dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Plenty Of Fish and gone on a few dates with a handful of women around my agegroup. Obviously none have fully worked out since I lost interest.About a month ago, a new girl started a new job where I work. We'll call her "Amour". I have a few friends at work who said they noticed I was a little starstruck when she walked onto the sales floor and told me to talk to her, so I did. I don't usually just go up and talk to girls but I figured "hey, she's a coworker. Why not introduce myself?" She and I eventually got to talking and I discovered she's very open and transparent about who she is. We got to talking and I discovered that she enjoys a lot of athletic activities. She mentioned how she hadn't been out on a hike for a little while. Mid-conversation we got interrupted by a customer but continued talking later. She was mentioning to another new female coworker that her car stereo is broken and she can only listen to the radio. That coworker said "OH YEAH! Martin actually recommended me this awesome FM Transmitter that would help with playing my music off my phone with good clarity!" To which I said I'd have to find the link again. Once I found the link I asked for her number to text it to her. She gave me her number and ever since that day we've kept contact. Seriously, daily contact.That night I was on the phone with my best friend/coworker who I was getting anxious on the phone with because I wanted to text Amour but I didn't know what to say. I broke into small talk with her over text and asked eventually if she'd like to go on a hike sometime. She suggested the next day we go on a hike, so we made plans. She lives an hour away from work and my place, so she offered to pick me up since I don't have my license still... (I'm working on it).Amour picked me up from my place and I noticed a giant crack in her windshield and asked about it thinking it was no big deal, but then she brought up how a month ago she broke up with her ex boyfriend who punched the windshield. She mentioned how she was trying to talk to him about relationship problems and wouldn't stop the car, so he started breaking it from the inside. Obviously I didn't want to get too into detail but she explained that she wanted to leave that relationship two years ago. After talking about her ex, we got into talking about TV shows we were watching, and she and I discovered we were watching the same anime show and enjoy somewhat similar music. We eventually got to the hiking spot and we both agreed that after the hike we should grab donuts from the local café. On the hike, we talked about her family, her past work experiences, the current drama with work that she hasn't stumbled upon yet, and I told her about my past a bit. We got to the top of the rock and hung out for an hour just talking about her little brother and how much she adores him, along with anime and other things. We got to the café where she showed me pictures on her phone of her travels around Asia which was pretty neat honestly. I don't remember the full context of the conversation but we somehow stumbled upon how she's very lightweight when it comes to alcohol consumption and how her darker past lead her to abusing pills and she's done a plethora of different types of drugs. I'm super anti-drug (unless it's marijuana if that even counts but that's another discussion I don't want to get into) but I was really accepting and empathetic with her about that regardless if it had me worried. After our talk, she wanted to walk around the local quay for a moment, then we wound up getting sushi and drinks. She got tipsy pretty fast but she seemed stable enough to hold a good conversation and was really smiley towards me. She then dropped me off and said she'd see me at work.The next day she was on her way to work she offered me a ride since I started at the same time as her, so we had breakfast together and went to work. Pretty chill, but I've never had anyone (let alone a girl) ask if I wanted a ride and to go out for breakfast. I thought it was really cool of her.The next time we actually hung out was just her and I at my place in my room watching movies while kind of drunk and snacking. My mom came home eventually and cooked us dinner, then when Amour was about to drive off we had a long serious talk about kind of where we are and how I felt. We got really cuddly, she would hold my hand, then we kissed outside my place. I remember her backing off the first time and her saying “this is too soon” and eventually when she was about to leave I gave her a hug and one more kiss but she kind of tucked her lips away the second time and make a sound that gave off the “nooo” kind of vibe.I recently renewed my learners drivers licence and the day I got it we had lunch because I got it the moment she went on lunch and we spent the lunch together getting Chipotle and bringing it up to the remote break room and ate there.She and her friends came to my band’s show last Friday (they were late by 2 songs) but showed up during her favourite song of ours. After the set, her friends and me and Rozz and Abrahim were at the bar having drinks and Amour was still getting cuddly with me. I left for multiple smoke breaks with her and her friends since they wanted a smoke. We all went to Earls to drink and eat more, and she and I were even MORE cuddly at the table. When we left Earls, we were holding hands. Her friend Sheila kept interrupting us and taking her away from me, then Abrahim pulled her friend back to let us have our moment even though Sheila said “I want to ruin it” in apparently what was a “protective” intent. Amour and I eventually were far enough from the group that we were able to have a moment where she and I kissed and she seemed really smiley and happy. Amour and Sheila left our group and it was just me, Abrahim, Amour’s friend Kassy, and her guy friend. Kassy explains that Amour might just like the attention and company right now since she just got out of a 4 year relationship a month ago and that she mostly needs to spend time alone or with friends rather than seeing a new guy right now. It really bugged me out and Abrahim told me to be careful based on the circumstances that I might get emotionally hurt.Amour, myself, and a bunch of coworkers went out to a local carnival. It all seemed chill but at one point I put my arm around her lightly when literally almost nobody was looking and she told me to give her space. I kind of got shocked for the night, but I still played it cool. I helped her win a stuffed plushy thing with the games that she wanted. We made our way back home, and when she dropped me off we talked til 2 in the morning outside my place. I explained how I felt again, and she explained how she still isn’t sure about how she feels (whether she likes me or just likes my company). It just felt very awkward because looking back, I felt somewhat pressuring. We had a hug and when I tried to kiss her, she backed off and said no.The last day Amour and I spent together was at her place. I made a trip out because it's an hour drive/two hour bus ride. I felt badly that she always made her way out to the city to hang with me or to go to work so I suggested the idea that I take the bus and train out to her. She said yes at first, but by the time I got on the train she told me that she didn't feel like having company that day and that she was tired. I told her I could turn around but she felt bad and said to come over anyways. We got to her place, and it seemed chill. We got up to Amour's room and she showed me a bunch of her memory boxes and when she stumbled upon love letters from her ex she crumpled one of them and threw it away. We went downstairs to watch some anime and fell asleep on the couch together. Later that night we went to Red Robin's for dinner and she was holding my hand at the dinner table. Once we left, we went to get some light groceries and snacks for her place since she was staying alone at home for the week. When we left the grocery store we were still holding hands. We got back to her place and she eventually asked how I was getting home. Being about an hour drive away, my mom didn't want to come pick me up (I only live with my mom). Amour said she should've mentioned that busses and trains start taking longer after 6:30PM. It was around 9:45PM when she mentioned this. So I proposed the idea I stay the night since I had my work shirt and we both worked tomorrow and that maybe I could sleep in the living room so it's not awkward for her. She instead invited me up to her room to sleep on the floor next to her bed. She let me wear her gym shorts and a baggier shirt of hers to sleep in. We watched a movie til she passed out and I closed up her computer so she wouldn't wake up in her sleep. My biggest problem was that I had one of those nights where I just couldn't sleep. She woke up eventually and asked if there was anything she could do to help or anything I wanted that could help me go to sleep, but I kindly declined any offer and said I'd pass out eventually. Honestly, I wanted to cuddle with her but seeing as she'd been a little distant lately during our talks I didn't want to push it.I woke up and she was getting ready for the day, so I did too. She made me tea and we made more small talk. I eventually told her that I was uncomfortable on the floor and would have preffered sleeping next to her. She told me that I should have asked because she would've been cool with it. We hopped in the car and she drove me home yesterday morning before work. She seemed a lot more quiet than usual with small talk, but we were jamming out to some music in the car and singing along to some tunes. When we got to my place she returned my FM Transmitter that I lent her (which while it seems strange, I got the vibe she was literally going to drop what I thought we had going). She texted me when I got inside the house and told me that she thinks we should stay friends and nothing more, and she said that me staying the night felt awkward for her.The next day I woke up a little petty and upset. Where my head was at, I couldn't help but feel kind of used for emotional and physical support for the month of post-breakup. A rebound.Anyways, that day we had very little conversation. She asked for help with something in the morning at work and I helped her, but then I quickly went to do my job as the technician for the day (she's in sales). She noticed I seemed a little distant, so she texted asking if I was okay. I ignored it. Later on I went on my break for a smoke and I walked right past her (bare in mind I didn't want to talk to anyone on my break) and she wished me a happy break, then after ignoring that she said "or not..." She blew up my phone with angry text messages saying things like "do not treat me like a nobody, be straight up and tell me to leave you alone. you've been ignoring me all day. Make up your mind please because I don't play games."I apologized to her the next day (which was yesterday) and she said she didn't want to really talk about it because she felt it was a personal attack and that it killed her good vibes that day. She also was really open in saying she's moody and that her period is coming on and that it's hitting her harder this time around. The talk still happened and I apologized for the way I behaved and said that nobody deserves to be treated that way, not even friends, or someone I have feelings for. She said that I need to make up my mind and figure out what I want, whether that's to not be friends at all and just be coworkers, or to be friends. She said maybe if we had even just been friends that things could have carried on from there. She said maybe time space from each other is what we're needing, but I've always gotten anxious about space with anyone (but that's my own personal problem I guess).While I feel like being friends with her sounds like it could be okay, I can’t just sit around and wait for her to change her mind and I can't expect her to. She still wants to talk and hang out like we normally do, just without the pressure-like conversations about the idea of relationships.I guess ultimately I'm just confused. I really like her, I enjoy spending time with her, and I don't want to lose the connection we have. I think she's really special and quite something. We get along really well, but I can't help but feel that if I try to be friends with her, I'll have this hope in my head that something will develop between us and become bigger than a friendship, but I know I can't and shouldn't expect it. That being said, she'd also just gotten out of a relationship over a month ago, and maybe this is still too soon for her since she was with the guy for 4 years and she's 20 now turning 21 this year.This whole thing is driving me crazy and I can barely sleep at night because I'm stuck thinking about the good times between us that all happened so fast. via /r/dating_advice